Ode W

Artwork: Flayed Lamb - Hayv Kahraman, 2008

if all i can do
is look,
if all i can do
is see,
if all i can do
is observe
from
afar ~

then i
feel sorry
for myself.

the pathos,
the tragedy,
the million
myriad
unusual
fevered
maddening
things
about you;
those base
triggers
that send
mishmashed
signals
flickering,
blinking
into my
befuddled
mind.

the dark
hags,
the shadows,
the hissing
adders
tell me
to say
my
goodbyes.

but i:
i...
am more
stubborn
than an
ox,
donkey,
obstinate,
ornery
beast
that i
am.

i don't
know why
i haven't,
i can't,
i won't
give up;
why i
won't,
can't,
shan't
give in.

i think,
i believe,
i know
you're
worth
it.

Clock

Artwork: Why Time Goes Slower when We Get Older - Rhonald Blommestijn, date unknown

the things,
the people,
the events
that mark
my life

like the
hours,
the rapid...
...fire
hours
speeding
away
on the
face
of
father
time
himself.

i need
patience -
a patience
so intense
as to be
surreal,
inhuman,
potent.

ticks,
heartbeats
throbbing,
flitting,
thumping,
counting
my life
away
one
second
at a
time.

honestly:
i look
like a
fool
waiting
as i
do.

Clock

Artwork: Why Time Goes Slower when We Get Older - Rhonald Blommestijn, date unknown

the things,
the people,
the events
that mark
my life

like the
hours,
the rapid...
...fire
hours
speeding
away
on the
face
of
father
time
himself.

i need
patience -
a patience
so intense
as to be
surreal,
inhuman,
potent.

ticks,
heartbeats
throbbing,
flitting,
thumping,
counting
my life
away
one
second
at a
time.

honestly:
i look
like a
fool
waiting
as i
do.

On Food, Life, and Being Gorgeously Full-figured

I was imperially pissed off by a little word-bite I read in the Rushes column of the Sunday Inquirer:

Phoemela Barranda - masibang kumain [Phoemela Barranda - glutton]

For those of you who don't know or have never been exposed to the Philippine fashion scene, Phoemela Barranda was - and still is - one of the country's more popular model-celebs. When she first hit the scene over a decade ago, she was as slender as most models in the biz. In recent years, however, she has certainly gained some magnificent curves that have made her more beautiful.

So it seriously irks me to hear these ridiculous canards make fun of her eating habits.

What's wrong about women enjoying their food? That's the problem with this media-addled world: unhealthy stereotypes have been keeping us from becoming who we want to be, from becoming who we really are.

There ought to be more women like Phoemela who love to eat. Women like us have a certain joie de vivre; we do not shy away from new tastes and textures. Ergo, we do not shy away from experiencing new things.

There ought to be more women like Nigella Lawson (shown above, enjoying a hot cuppa tea) who look fabulous thanks to a healthy combination of a good appetite and a perky disposition. Women like us can look at the darker side of life and take it with a grain of salt (or a couple ounces of very good chocolate).

There ought to be more women like the late Julia Child who teach people to slow down and enjoy life. Child's book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, is not the easiest cookbook to work through. (Ask Julie Powell of Julie and Julia fame!) But it teaches one to do things a step at a time and that it's okay to make mistakes.

There ought to be more women like Maya Angelou who show people that you can recover from even the most devastating tragedies. I would recommend her cookbook-memoir Halleluijah! It shows you the sort of hurt she went through when she was younger and how food and verse took her from humble beginnings and turned her into someone special.

We ought to be telling younger girls that it's okay to be curvaceous, that you should be happy with the body you were born with, the body you're growing into. We ought to be telling younger girls not to listen to those hypocrites who tell them that women can only be pretty if they're Kate Moss-scrawny. That's not beauty; that's a mocking caricature of beauty, a useless, sickly stick figure with no real purpose except for clothes to hang onto.

It's only now that I'm in my thirties that I have begun to take pride in my Rubenesque, Baroque figure. I am proud to be a 38C with a trim waistline and generous hips - and I never went to some idiot with a scalpel to get this figure. I have good skin and hair. I have a good smile. I may not be the sunniest-tempered person, but I do my darndest best to cheer people up.

I love to eat. I'm darned voluptuous.

And I am beginning to learn to appreciate my life.

I am beautiful.

And no anorexic fashion hag is going to tell me otherwise.

Besides, Italian director Fedrico Fellini said it best:

Never trust a woman who doesn't like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed.

Think about that, boys...

To Love Dormant

Artwork: Four Unicorns of the Apocalypse - Krista Huot, 2009

do you
think,
dream,
envision...

do you
see my
face
whilst
your eyes
are
closed?

am i
but a
memory,
a trace
of things
past...

or am
i
real
to you
in
your
heart,
your
mind,
your
soul?

innocent
query
at the
break
of
dawn.

Path

Artwork: Reliquary for My Everyday III - Carment Lozar, 2007

can i

ask you

to find

your way,

to find

the path

that leads...

the path

that leads

to what

your heart

will want,

will need,

will...

...consider...

consider

the odds

that block

the way,

consider

the words

to say.

can i

ask you

to find

your way,

to find

your way

to me?